i didn't sleep well since it was hard for me to close my eyes with so much things running thru my mind.
sometimes i just feel like, i am not a good person. i can't change myself into a good one. it's not that i don't try it. i tried. hard. but i think, i'm just not hard enough thou.
yeah, my heart broke into pieces currently. i except the consequences for what i did, thou i don't want it. but i can't push someone to do everything i wanted, rite?
and now, all i can do is waiting. waiting for whatever answers.
and when the answer is not like what i expected, then i should have a big (or bigger) heart to except it. and i should believe that it's the best answer God give me :')
but when the answer is such a nice one, i should really really really give my best of the best effort to give the trust back and show them that i'm not playing around with what i had promised.
God, give me strength..